


Beyond Life and Death

by kiwilicious



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Major plot spoilers, taz balance spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-10 00:31:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12287436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwilicious/pseuds/kiwilicious
Summary: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE FINALE OF TAZ BALANCEAll that Johann knows is that he was dead. He was definitely dead. So why did he wake up? What happened that gave him a second chance at life? Left only with a vague clue from the Voidfish, Johann has to cope not only with the aftermath of a war waged on his reality, but with his own failed mortality.





	Beyond Life and Death

**Author's Note:**

> I'm experimenting with a new style (and a new genre! I don't usually write angst) but I'm excited to try it out!

They say that when a great composer creates a song, they put their heart and soul into it. That piece contains the essence of that composer, all their emotions and experiences and beliefs are weaved into it. If you were to take all of a composer's songs, you would be able to piece together that person's being in a deep, new, intimate way. The problem is, this was thought to only be possible in the purest, most abstract way possible. In a way that no two people could understand exactly same. In a way that few people could even put into words, let alone tangible reality. Nobody could create something real, something palpable. That is what they believed, until Johann woke up from death.

\---

Johann began to breathe. Each breath felt like his body felt like flames inside him. He was cold and intense pain. He couldn't even move or open his eyes for a few moments. As he began to breathe, and blood started circulating in his veins again, and slowly, he opened his eyes. Simultaneously he took in all of his surroundings. The blinding blue and green light, the deafening voidfish song of despair, and the otherworldly sensation of corpses of The Hunger surrounding him and laying on top of him. After the Voidfish's elegy ended, Johann began trying to sit up. The pain in his body made it almost impossible, but soon enough he sat up to survey the scene. He saw black corpses scattered around the room, melting into puddles of black sludge. He saw the Voidfish's shattered tank.

After a moment he looked at a shattered, splintered mannequin laying on the floor. He felt an intense pang of something that he couldn't quite place, and shortly realized that he couldn't remember much that happened. He remembered playing his harp for the Voidfish, then he remembered being on the floor, being attacked by these black figures. Then he heard the song, HIS song, being broadcasted. Then he woke up. As he climbed to his feet, he began to have memories that weren't his. Memories of a ship. Memories of a familiar crew. Memories of a looming black force pursuing close behind. He began limping over to the Voidfish, who looked exhausted and afraid.

"What . . . What happened?" He whispered to the fish, who began to light up a bit at seeing that Johann was okay. The Voidfish put a single tentacle on his cheek, and the Johann began to know. There was no pictures or words, just . . . Knowledge. Abstract, formless knowledge. Johann pulled back for a second to absorb it. The Voidfish's last gift. After this it retracted it's tentacle, and only then did Johann notice it was holding its baby. The two voidfish began to slowly disappear, and after a moment, they were completely gone. 

Johann made his way to the elevator, cold, alone, and lost. As he rode it up he leaned against the wall, feeling the vibrations as it moved. His memories were coming back slowly. He was shaking, thinking about what the Voidfish showed him. He tried to understand but he couldn’t, not yet. Once the elevator reached the top, he stepped out and made his way outside. When he saw what was outside, he froze. The base was in ruins. There were dead bodies everywhere. Johann fell to his knees, but then he noticed something else. The people that were still alive were cheering. They were hugging each other and laughing, and for the first time in such a long time, he saw the sky. He saw the stars. Johann kneeled there and was lost in the flood of information and emotions. After a while though, his thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Holy shit, he's alive! Carey, Killian, he's alive!" Johann looked up to see Avi, followed by Carey and Killian running over toward him. They approached him and helped him to his feet. Johann just stared at Avi, at a total loss for words. "Hey man, take it easy. I know this is a lot to take in. But fuck, man I am so happy to see you." Avi wrapped him into a hug, which made Johann yelp in pain. Avi stepped back, startled, and then reached back and gently touched his shoulder. They guided him to a nearby bench in the quad and helped him to sit down. Avi sat next to him as Carey and Killian stood in front of the bench. They did their best to evaluate his condition, though none of them were had enough medical expertise. Eventually Carey and Killian left to see if they could find more survivors like Johann, leaving them alone. 

"I know too much happened to explain everything, and I remember something distant like . . . A ship?" Johann shook his head. "I don't know just . . . Can you sum it up in something very short?" 

"Johann . . . We won." Avi grinned. "You were right. We all heard your music, everyone in the world. You said we were going to win. And we did."

"Whoa . . . That's . . . A lot to take in." Eventually other people came by to see how they were doing. It had been about an hour since the Starblaster returned and the crew had come off and dispersed. One by one they made their way past Johann to check on him. First Davenport, then Lucretia, then Merle, then even Taako came by and talked for a moment. Shortly after that, from across the quad, Johann saw Magnus, who locked eyes with him and made his way over.

"Hey buddy!" Magnus said cheerfully, but hiding a worried look on his face. "How, uh . . . How ya feeling?"

"I feel like death, Magnus." Johann chuckled quietly.

"Well that would makes sense, seeing as you were dead." Magnus laughed as well, still looking a bit nervous.

"You died like 20 times, Magnus. That shit just happens to us apparently." Johann replied, shaking his head. Magnus relaxed a bit after hearing that.

"Well, Johann, you've got me there. I'll let you rest, but I definitely want to talk about this later, whenever you're ready." Magnus waved and walked off. Johann sighed and looked over at Avi, who's face was frozen in an expression of concerned terror.

"You were dead, Johann? What does he mean, you died?" Avi kept staring at Johann with unflinching alarm.

"Well, I mean . . . Technically." Johann dropped his gaze and stared at the ground.

"Was it like 'my heart stopped beating for 12 seconds' dead or . . ." Avi trailed off, not sure how to phrase his question.

"I was standing over my dead body. I saw Magnus there, and I said something to him, but he left and I was trapped there. It felt like I was there for so long. Then everything went black, and then I woke up." Johann started to shiver a little, which made Avi take off his leather jacket and put it on Johann.

"Shit man. I'm, uh . . . I'm sorry. That sounds horrible. I had no idea it was like that." Avi looked away, and anxiously ran his fingers through his hair. "I guess this makes this a weird question, but . . . Why aren't you still dead?" Avi looked back over at Johann. 

"Short answer, I don't know." Johann put his face in his hands.

"And the long answer?" Avi leaned forward a bit.

"Oh god, this is gonna be hard to explain and it's gonna sound batshit crazy. Okay." Johann sat up and locked eyes with Avi. "So I've spent a few years feeding my music to the Voidfish. We got pretty close. And he eats them and does his thing. But I guess when I . . . Died . . . He pieced me back together? Somehow. God this sounds insane." Johann started shaking his head again.

"Well," Avi said, looking bewildered but fascinated, "you put your soul into each composition. Maybe that was how he did it. You do have that bard magic." Johann opened his mouth to answer but froze for a moment.

"You might be onto something. Without realizing it, I was putting part of myself in my songs, enough that the Voidfish could reform me?" Johann actually laughed a bit upon this discovery. "I'm not saying that it makes sense, because that literally sounds completely impossible, but . . . It kinda almost makes sense." Johann was looking Avi in the eyes, watching Avi beam with pride at his theory. Avi reached over to put his hand on his thigh, and he felt safe at the warmth of Avi's hand. Caught up in his emotions, Johann cupped Avi's face in his cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss before letting go and chuckling to himself.

"Sorry. It's been a long day." Johann dropped his gaze.

"Fuck, man, I uh - you . . ." Avi stammered, then sighed, his cheeks flushing red. "You don't need to apologize. Come on. I'll take you to your room. You need to rest." Avi helped Johann up off the bench helped him to his quarters. Once they got inside, Johann sat down on his bed. Avi stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do. He turned to leave but Johann grabbed his hand before he got far.

"Would you stay with me?" Johann asked, completely vulnerable. Avi's expression softened completely as he sat down next to him on the bed. He wrapped his arms around Johann and just held him. Soon they fell asleep in each other's arms, and for a while, Johann felt peace.


End file.
